Narrated by ‘Abdullah bin ‘Umar :The Prophet said, “Everyone of you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for his wards). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible(for his subjects); a man is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a guardian of her husband’s house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of you are guardians and are responsible (for your wards).” (Sahih Bukhari)
1. If you want to live like his ‘Queen’ then treat him like your ‘King’. Let him have an upper hand in most of the matters.
2. In Islām a husband has a very high status. As a wife it is your responsibility to give him utmost respect and look after all his needs.
3. Look forward to his coming back from work and also get ready in time for his arrival. Rejuvenate his spirits by presenting yourself with a fresh and charming look every time he comes home. A pleasant fragrance and a genuine smile can work wonders.
4. Nagging is an act that is most unpleasant. Do not let it dominate your nature as it can gradually destroy a marriage. This is one thing common in most women that men absolutely hate. Be sensitive and sensible enough.
5. Make efforts in cooking meals that your husband loves. It is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. When you satisfy his taste buds, he will automatically be at peace.
6. Make your husband go ‘wow!’ with occasional surprises planned for him. Why should only husbands plan surprises for their wives? Even men like to feel pampered once in a while. Do not wait for some special day. Try to make every day of your married life a special day.
7. Be a part of the group of women who are trying to erase the stereotype notion about women playing a negative role in marriages rather than being a part of that group that is acting like a proof to that notion. A man had this to say about his two marriages: “I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t!”
8. Fights are common in a marriage. In fact, they play a big role in making a successful marriage. But it is very important to choose between fights which are necessary and the ones which are not. We agree nobody fights willingly but then there are topics and issues which are too petty to ‘wage a war’ against the husband. So the next time you get angry, think twice. The reason for your anger, is it really necessary? Also, do not start your fight as soon as he enters home no matter how genuine your reasons are.
9. One of the common problems with women is that they are often very difficult to satisfy. You should not look at the women above you in status because of their affluent husbands. Rather, look at those who are below you. Remember, contentment is the key to a happy marriage.
10. Before marriage women love to dream about a perfect husband, perfect in-laws, a perfect house and what not? But when you get married you realise life is probably not as per your dreams. So wake up and embrace the beauty of the reality, whatever it has to offer. This is the primary rule of a perfect marriage. When you come to terms with reality and accept the fact that the house, your husband, your in-laws are way different from what you had imagined, that’s when you will have a perfect marriage.
11. When you are conversing with him avoid bringing a subject that he has aversion to, like a rough time you might have had during the earlier period of your marriage. Let the past be the past. There’s an Arabic proverb that states that you should write the bad things that happen to you in the sand, so that they can be easily erased from your memory.
12. Be his best friend. Take plenty of interest in his work and if possible give him positive advice that would help him. Let him share with you his innermost secrets.
13. Be careful to compliment him abundantly for any good turn he has done to you or any kindness he has shown to you.
14. Encourage your husband not to miss the congregational prayers. If your husband develops the habit of praying in the Masjeed five times a day then tomorrow your kids will, inshaAllāh, follow suit.
15. Keep your husband satisfied in every manner. Keep a healthy environment full of piety at home, give him a pleasant company, cook good food, be friendly, respect your in-laws, share, discuss and find solution to problems jointly, and your husband will thank Allāh Subhānahu wa Ta’ālā for gifting him such a mature and understanding better half.
16. Create an Islāmic atmosphere at home by imparting Ta’ālim (Islāmic learning) and Tarbiyat (Islāmic nurturing) to the children so that they become good Muslims when they grow up.
17. If you are recently married and you discover your husband is not very friendly towards you or your in-laws are a bit too harsh with you, then do not panic and take hasty steps that you might regret later. Also, do not talk to other people about your problems as this can easily lead you to commit the sin of backbiting. Instead, turn to Allāh and beseech His help. Try to be as pleasant as you can to win your husband and your in-laws. With your perseverance inshaAllāh things will work out well for you.