- Remember often, why you married him instead of why you shouldn’t have. Remind yourself of the good feelings you had before it got hard and complicated — for example when you experienced raising children, changing jobs as well as diapers, housework, division of labor and had more bills than money.
- Look past the love handles, spare tire and crow’s feet. Everyone gets those over time, but if you love your spouse deep enough, and don’t point out his flaws, your vision will change and each new wrinkle or gray hair will become beautiful to you.
- Communicate by restraining yourself from doing all the talking. Give your spouse the courtesy to share in the conversation. Listen well, and listen more than you talk.
- If you think you know your spouse so well that you can complete his sentences… Don’t!
- Make weekly date night a priority. Take turns asking each other out and planning your dates. Don’t let other things get in the way of your date night.
- Serve your spouse! When you lose yourself in the service of your spouse, love grows deeper and happiness is the result!
- Develop an attitude for gratitude. When your spouse makes the effort to do something nice for you, show your appreciation and acknowledge it. It is a wonderful feeling to know that you have been thought about warmly during the day, and it is also heartening to know your thoughts and actions have been appreciated.
- Smile and laugh a lot. A sense of humor keeps a marriage fun.
- Don’t dwell on past mistakes. Learn to forgive, and forget, then move on.
- Take turns enjoying and discovering each other’s individual interests. Participate equally in these.
- Pick your nose if you have to, but don’t pick a fight. My grandmother use to say, “The first fault finder smells his own behinder.” Let the small things go, and choose your battles wisely.
- How would you like it if every little thing about you was examined under a magnifying glass? Forget the lint in his navel, oiliness of his skin, nose hairs, and extended length eyebrows. He’ll be more apt to let you trim them if you aren’t constantly nagging.
- Remember the three finger rule. If you are pointing at him all the time, be quick to remember that three fingers are pointing back at you. You have as many or more faults, so start by cleaning out your own closet before you begin working on his.
- Learn to say I’m sorry. Don’t keep track of who says it the most.
- Compromise by definition means to negotiate or agree upon by making concessions. A happy marriage is give and take, so be sure to give more than you take.
- Be a me firster! Don’t wait for your spouse to say I love you, and don’t keep track of who says it the most.
- A soft answer turneth away wrath. The louder it gets, the worse things become. Speak softly, especially during times of anger and stress.
- Don’t pretend to know it all. Think about how happy it would make your spouse, if you let him think he taught you something, every once in a while.
- Always kiss good night, good morning and good bye. You never know when it will be your last chance to do so.
- Be your spouse’s greatest and most trusted, loyal fan.
Life in a marriage can be tough when you have no idea how to make things work or how to keep your spouse happy. Thankfully there are some relatively easy ways in which you can improve the condition of your marriage by simply adopting some ‘non-negotiable’ rules in your home:
#1 Showing respect – Every individual deserves respect – ESPECIALLY your spouse
#2 Be affectionate – Love makes people feel valued, so show your spouse you love them and don’t be shy. Hold hands, kiss your spouse goodbye and hold on a little longer when you hug
#3 Always communicate – Your spouse is not a mind reader! Tell your spouse what you need and clearly communicate this to them
#4 Forgive quickly – No one is perfect and a good marriage thrives on forgiving and letting go
#5 Show kindness – A happy marriage takes two people who are kind to one another – always
#6 Appreciate your spouse – There is nothing worse than being taken for granted. A simple thank you is all it takes
#7 Loyalty – You should only ever have eyes for your spouse as if they are the most important person in your whole world
#8 Balance your time – A good marriage has balance between work, friends, family and each other as well as time for yourself
#9 Be honest – The fastest way for your spouse to lose trust in you is when you hide or lie about major things in your home. It simply isn’t worth it
#10 Consult in decision-making – It is from the sunnah to consult with one another in all big decisions – and doing so increases your love and respect for one another
20 ways to be nicer to your Husband or Wife
Experts say that the longer you are married, the more effort is required to stay that way. Keeping this in mind, I have composed a list of 20 suggestions of simple things we can do to be nicer to your spouse. Remember often, why you married him inste