Fatima Haffejee –Cii
Presumably, the make-me-maaf messages will be doing the rounds tonight and the
nights leading to Laylatul Qadr (the night of power).
I hold no angst against these messages being sent out but I do condemn the
insincerity of their appearance.
‘How judgy of you!’ you say whilst copying a generic message to then be forwarded on
to your oh-so-many contacts.
‘On this auspicious night blah blah. . . دعاء’s blah blah. . . Forgive me for all my
Click. Copy. Paste. Send.
Simple as that.
Forgiveness has been sought, prayers have been requested, your work here is done.
Or so it seems.
Forgiveness? Come again?
Personally, I think people take the whole make-me-maaf concept too liberally.
I destroyed your reputation by spreading malicious rumors about you? Make me maaf.
I broke your heart by cheating on you with your best friend after 11 years of
marriage and 3 children together? Make me maaf.
I stabbed you in the back despite the fact that you had always been there for me?
Make me maaf.
I stole from you, hit you, abused you verbally, lied to you and left you thinking it
was your fault that I turned to drugs? Make me maaf.
3 words that are suppose to make all the difference. To rectify what had been, to
alter what was destroyed and to mend what was broken.
3 words that we take so lightly.
Besmirched by our inability to take them seriously.
What’s to maaf?
Inadvertently we all are capable (you have a mouth don’t you?) of saying things we
don’t often mean.
I’ve been found guilty of this numerous of times.
My tongue-in-cheek nature means that I say things as I see them.
Often, this can end up to my detriment.
I say things others don’t want to hear, they take it personally, perhaps my tone was
brusque, or my opinion inconsiderate, still, if it hurt someone’s feelings it was in
I have this habit of reminding myself to forgive people. I’m no saint, I
don’t believe I have the kindest of souls.
Grudges aren’t the best of my skills though and whilst some hurts are too painful to
(grin &) bear I find it almost necessary to forgive the person that had caused the
It serves as a reminder.
We aren’t God.
And yet, we expect HIS forgiveness when we aren’t willing to forgive the mistakes of
our fellow humans.
Thing is, be sincere in asking.
A copied & pasted message is a valuable time saver but if you have truly done
something that requires a genuine apology be man enough to apologize.
Truth be told, apologizing is one of the hardest things to do.
Sometimes I’m so stuck in this notion of ‘I didn’t do anything why should I
apologize’ but that’s the cowards way out.
So what if you get a retort that smacks of venom, be it as it may, at least you
aren’t the snake in the grass waiting to ensnare its next victim.
Forgetting? Well that’s up to you.
If a memory retained serves as a reminder of the battles you’ve experienced and the
strength that got you through, keep them.
After all, we are the lessons of our past. Let’s be the best at practicing them.