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Can a man marry without his mothers permission?

Question:

Can a man marry without his mother’s permission and if so can she curse him?

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.

Marriage is intended as a life-long partnership between husband and wife. As a result, choice should and will play a role in choosing a spouse.

One of the main purposes of marriage is to live a pure, chaste life. In a world where temptations and illicit relations are all too commonplace, having the freedom to select one’s spouse based on likeness is an important part of preserving one’s faith.

However, this choice is not uninhibited and neither so narrow and shallow that the focus is only on beauty and likability. Rather a number of other factors such as piety, good character and compatibility are all an important aspect of choosing the ideal spouse.

In addition, since the union of marriage not only brings together husband and wife but their families as well, it is also important to take into account the sentiments of the families before getting married.

If the mother of the husband is upset about the marriage, the couple should do their best to convince her with love, patience and understanding. If she was slighted in any way either because she was not consulted or her sentiments were not taken into consideration, the son should do his best to placate her.

Over time she will come to accept the change Insha-Allah if both husband and wife continue to treat her with the utmost kindness and respect while disregarding her ill-feelings towards them. They should also make persistent dua’ and enlist the help of those whom the mother holds in high regard with a view to convince her to stop cursing her son and accept his choice.

And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

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