Any amal you do, do it for Allah ﷻ. Don’t worry what this person and that person said. All those doubts, kick it out of our mind. You want to do something? Do it for Allah ﷻ. How much you can do, do. Whatever you can’t do, leave it out. Don’t get involved in politics. Don’t hurt people. Don’t read too much into things. Two people brought a dispute to Nabi صلي الله عليه وسلم who responded that I have to pass judgment on zaahir (I.e that which is apparent). After this, if someone does something wrong then Allah ﷻ is watching and He will deal with it.
We too, have to adapt to this. Especially spouses, we have men who, when cheating, may have two phones. He’s a couch potato yet the second the wife walks towards his ringing phone, he suddenly becomes an athlete. Why? He’s hiding something. The cheated upon spouse becomes a policewoman. Now she’s monitoring, constantly worried. You can’t blame her but overtime, this does get frustrating. The spouse guilty of disloyalty now plays the guilt card, he says, don’t you trust me?
So for the innocent spouse it’s a worrying, constrained life. The best way to deal with it is to leave it to Allah ﷻ. Because if the spouse is being disloyal, who is he being disloyal to? He is being disloyal to Allah ﷻ first. We can duck and dive from humans, but we can’t duck and dive from Allah ﷻ! So if someone is doing wrong, Allah ﷻ will expose them. Just like Allah ﷻ exposed him the first time, if he continues to be disloyal, Allah ﷻ will expose him again.
Nabi صلي الله عليه وسلم mentioned in a hadeeth, that enter from the front door when you come home. Meaning, don’t go through the back door, peaking, to see what she’s up to. This hadeeth shows us we mustn’t look around for evidence, Allah ﷻ will expose a cheater if he continues to cheat.
Generally with any sin, first Allah ﷻ will give us a chance to reform. When we don’t appreciate the chance, after a few times Allah ﷻ makes it such that man almost gets caught, but he makes a lucky escape and he gets away. Now if he still doesn’t make tawba, then he gets caught. 9 out of 10 times a close one who has his goodness at heart will catch him out. This close one will give advice and naseeha, discouraging him from the sin. Now if he still continues, then eventually Allah ﷻ exposes him in public. Allah ﷻ embarrasses the person, that too is mercy from Allah ﷻ. That now it’s out in the open, make tawba and Istighfar before you die! With getting away….how long are you going to get away for? There’s no getting away after death!
So this is generally Allah’s system. He gives us repeated chances to make tawba. With gambling, womanizing and cheating…generally, this is what happens when a person gets exposed. Of course there are some exceptions as always. And, it’s not always the man who cheats. When a man cheats, who does he cheat with? Obviously a woman.
May Allah ﷻ save us, Aameen.
(The above is an extract from a bayan delivered by Hazrat Maulana Dawood Seedat حفظه الله click here.)