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Losing a Child

By Naadira Chhipa
They were happily married for over ten years and due to medical reasons they could not have a baby yet they continued to make dua and seek advice from renowned doctors in hope of conceiving.She was nervously sitting across her gynaecologist waiting for her blood results,silently making dua that her treatment worked.After ten years she heard the news her heart yearned for,she was pregnant.She cried tears of joy and appreciation.The feeling of being pregnant and carrying her little love inside of her overwhelmed her and her husband was equally happy.After three month’s of being pregnant and healthy she woke up one night with intense pain in her stomach,they rushed her to the hospital but alas it was too late.The baby she longed for,the baby she spoke to and felt grow within her had been called back to its creator.Even though she did not get to meet her baby she mourned the loss of her unborn child,she cried over her shattered dreams and hopes of holding her baby, feeding her baby and looking into the eyes of her child.Her only comfort came from her husband’s words as he held on to her and continuously whispered,’to Allah we belong and to him we shall return’.

They lived in Syria all their lives,a wealthy family of five .Since the war began they lost their shop and were now fearing for their lives as they tried to escape to Turkey with whatever money they had saved.A day before they were scheduled to leave by boat a bomb exploded at the nearby playground.She ran frantically looking for her children as they were playing outside with a group of friends.She screamed out their names as the smoke burned her eyes she noticed the lifeless body of her youngest child covered in blood and dirt and her heart went cold.She hugged him calling out his name in hope of him returning to her.Her husband found the bodies of their elder kids and as they held the cold bodies of their children,leaving the destruction on that playground she felt dead.No tears escaped her eyes nor did she ever smile again.They never left Syria as their reason to escape the war was destroyed on that playground.She was never herself again the only word that escaped her lips were,’to Allah we belong and to him we shall return’.

They we proud parents the day their eldest son became a hafiz.A huge family gathering was held to honour his efforts and listen to him recite the Quraan.Upon hearing his recitation his mother cried tears of happiness as her heart was overwhelmed with joy.His father hugged him and said ‘I love you son,we are proud of you’,little did he know those were his last words to his beloved son.After the function his cousins took him for a drive in their new sports car.After five minutes his father got a call from the police saying that his son had passed away as a drunk driver lost control of his car and crashed into the car his son was in.His father broke down in tears and despair as he laid his son into the grave.He returned home to a wife he no longer recognized as she held on to her son’s Quraan continuously reciting,’to Allah we belong and to him we shall return’.

She sat alone in her cosy room waiting for her daughter to arrive from the grocery store.She is 91 years old and lives with her youngest daughter as her two sons had had passed away at the age of 70 and 76.Her daughter was the only child she had now and she was so grateful to her for everything she did from feeding her mother to giving her a bath,her daughter did it all.It was hours since her daughter left to the store and yet she did not return.The neighbour came knocking with news that broke her old heart.Her daughter had collapsed in the store and suffered a stroke which claimed her life.The old lady had seen death and destruction all her life but that news of her daughter passing away left her in deep,dark sadness,alone in a cold world.Her wrinkled hands reached for her Tasbeeh as she murmured,’to Allah we belong and to him we shall return’.

The loss of a child cannot be explained in words.No matter how old or how young your child was it does not make the loss easier.When a parent passes away before the child it is devasting to the child yet it can be comforted and sabr restored but when a child passes away before their parents no words can heal,no time can mend,no action can soothe that mother and father.Their memories,their voice,their scent,their laughter and their beautiful face will be engraved in their parents heart and soul forever.Everyday something or someone will remind the parents of their precious baby in Jannah.Even if their child was old and grey their heart will never forget nor will the tears dry until Allah reunites them in Jannah.But remember that your child will be waiting for you to return to him in Jannah.Allah has tested you with the test of all tests as he loves you and he alone understands the agony in the depths of your heart and soul,for this you will be forever rewarded in this world and in the hereafter.Ameen

We should appreciate every minute we have with our children as we are not guaranteed a lifetime with them.They do not belong to us but are entrusted to us by Allah as our amaanah.Let us hug them a little longer,let us write a letter to say how much we love and appreciate them,let us never curse them but raise our hands and make dua for them.Let us remember,’to Allah we belong and to him we shall return’.

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