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The merits and benefits of keeping good family relations:

 

1. The Way to Paradise

The Messenger sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )said: “Whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, then let him be generous to his guest, and whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bond of kinship, and whoever believes in Allaah and the Last Day, let him say that which is good or observe silence.” [Al-Bukhaari]

Abu Ayyoob Al-Ansaari  may Allaah be pleased with him narrated: “A man said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, inform me of a certain deed that if I do it, I shall enter Paradise.’ He sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )said: `worship Allaah and do not associate any thing with him, establish Prayer, give Zakaah and maintain bonds of kinship'”.

2. Abundance and Longevity

It is narrated by Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudhri may Allaah be pleased with him that the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )said: “Whoever desires for Allaah to multiply his provision and increase his age, he should maintain good relations with his kin”.

3.The curse of Allaah upon those who sever blood relations :

Allaah, has severely warned those who cut off their blood relations and family ties. The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )also condemned such people. Allaah the Almighty Says (what means): “Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allaah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.” [Quran 47:22-23]

All Muslims should read these two verses over and over again, and let them sink in, because the verse right after that says (what means): “Do they not then think deeply in the Quran? Or are their hearts locked up?” [Quran 47:24] We seek refuge in Allaah, the Lord of the worlds, from the sealing of our hearts and the subjugation of our weak selves.

Even the company of those who mistreat their families and are cut off from them is accursed. ‘Abdullaah Ibn Abu ‘Awf may Allaah be pleased with him narrated that, “One time we were sitting with the Messenger  sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )who said, `No one who cuts off his ties should sit with us. So a young man stood up from the crowd and went to visit his aunt, with whom he had some frictions, she then asked forgiveness for him, and he did the same for her, soon afterwards, he came back to our gathering circle, upon which the Messenger : sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )said: “The Mercy will not descend on people among whom there is a person who severs kin ties.”

Severing one’s blood ties is far from a trivial choice: it is an evil that may hinder you from entering Paradise: the Messenger of Allaah (PbUH)said : “No one who severs his family ties will enter Paradise.” [At-Tirmithi]

Part of the danger resulting from cutting off one’s relations can be sensed from the following hadeeth: Abu Hurayrah  may Allaah be pleased with him related that a man came to the Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, my relatives are such that I cooperate with them, but they cut me off; I am kind to them but they ill-treat me; I forbear but they are rude to me.” The Prophet sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )replied, “If you are as you say, you are then feeding them with hot ashes; and so long as you remain the way you are, Allaah will always help you and he will protect you against their mischief.” [Muslim]

Imaam An-Nawawi  may Allaah have mercy upon him said: “The hot ashes are a metaphor for the amount of pain and agony experienced by the one who eats them.” The hadeeth pertains also to the people who behave differently. They will maintain good ties as long as their kindred do the same, but otherwise they sever them. Real cherishing of the blood relation is not observed in anticipation of reciprocation on the part of one’s kin; but the ties should be maintained for Allaah’s sake only, even if this is done from one side only neglecting the behavior of the other side in return. ‘Abdullaah Ibn ‘Amr may Allaah be pleased with him narrated that the Prophet  sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )said, “A person who reciprocates in doing good is not the one who joins his blood relations generously; but he is one who joins with his blood relations when they sever the kindship ties.” [Al-Bukhaari] This wonderful hadeeth puts all things in perspective for those who are so skilled at pointing fingers, trying to justify the haughtiness of their own selves by always blaming other people, thus justifying their cutting of ties.

The Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )set for all humanity the greatest example of forgiveness and mercy after he conquered Makkah. The Makkans had tortured, killed, and humiliated Muslims for so long, and killed some of the dearest relatives of the blessed Prophet  sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )himself. But the Messenger  sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention)answered them by saying “I would say to you what Yoosuf said to his brothers: No reproach on you this day; May Allaah forgive you; He is the most Merciful of those who show mercy. Go free; you are all pardoned!” This incident never fails to bring tears to a Muslim’s eye.

In fact, any human being would be moved by such nobility and mercy to tears. No wonder ‘Aaishah : may Allaah be pleased with her when asked about the character of the Messenger  sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention )said that his character was the Quran. Better yet Allaah bears witness that his Messenger stands on the highest plane of character. Allaah Says (what means): “And verily, you have an exalted standard of character.” [Quran 68:4]

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