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Training Children (Part 2)

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Etiquette 11 

✏ Many parents leave the job of training to school teachers and society, not realizing that the education system today in most places is chillingly void of moral values. Society around the child is often immoral. Providing the right type of training is the primary duty of the parents.Every child needs to be taught the right things, for he is not born with that awareness.

 

 Etiquette 12 

✏ Children ask a lot of questions. Sometimes parents do not have the answers and must admit that they need to look it up. But it is unfair to ignore the questions or dismiss them as unimportant. The more they ask, the more they will learn.

An interest in his/her questions and confusions will help the child develop his mental and intellectual abilities.

Encourage the child to learn more by asking more, even if all the answers cannot be given immediately.

 

 Etiquette 13 

✏ The influence of friends is GREATLY emphasized in Islam.

Good friends can make a great difference to the molding of character. Thus, a parent has to be vigilant of the child’s friends. Always being in the company of one who has LOOSE MORAL, or a DIRTY TONGUE, or OTHER such vices, will RUB OFF on the child.Discourage very close connections such as frequent telephone calls, sleeping over at each other’s homes etc. Moderation in all fields is necessary for progress. It is necessary for a child to have friends BUT it is also necessary that the parents know whom the child befriends.

 

 Etiquette 14 

✏ As a child grows, he often requests to go out with friends. A parent should be in full control as to where the child is going, with whom and for how long.Allowing the child to go whenever and wherever he pleases is sure to INVITE trouble.

 

Etiquette 15 

✏ Parents should control the type of language a child uses. Dirty, swear words and any type of bad language should be completely forbidden.

Some children pick up various odd ways of speaking from school. These words may not necessarily be filthy, but are indicators of an attitude that must be avoided. Examples, are “…. who cares?” “get a life !!” “I don’t give a damn!! …” etc. Such expressions vary from place to place, but in general are prominent in today’s younger generations.

Parents must teach their children to avoid such expressions, for they go against the dignity and character of a good Muslim.

 

Etiquette 16 

 

✏ Although every parent knows he/she has to instil good manners into his children, many children still get away with unacceptable forms of behavior. For example: Rudeness, asking for things from others, shouting at elders, disrespect in the mosque or at people’s homes etc. are all examples of behavior that should not be tolerated.

When such behavior is seen even after warnings are given, the child must be punished appropriately. It should be made clear to the child that there are some limits that he cannot cross without facing the consequences. Discipline in this way helps the child control himself.

 

 Etiquette 17 

✏ When a mistake has been made, allow the child to make amends. Let him apologize and if necessary, carry out the designated punishment. This could include the loss of a privilege, writing lines, time out, or some extra chores. A variety of punishments may be used to ensure that the child does not get away with misbehavior.

However, after that has been done, the parents should not continue to be angry and refuse to talk to the child in a normal manner. It is better to get over the anger and become friends again soon.

Prolonged anger produces sadness and sometimes resentment in the child.

 

 Etiquette 18 

✏ Children are very influenced by the friends they play with. Parents should be careful that they do not pick up bad habits and behaviors through their play.

If a change in behavior or speech is noticed, parents should at once ask about whom the child plays with. The child should be explained that such forms of behavior will not be tolerated.

Some children pick up rude forms of speech, aggressive behavior and even a disrespectful attitude. It is thus necessary to be careful about the playmates of the child. If necessary, the child should be prevented from associating with inappropriate playmates.

 

Etiquette 19 

✏ Too much play is harmful for the child. He must not be allowed to spend all his time in play. Life must be a balance, and work is also essential.

From childhood, it is necessary to learn that there is a time for everything. So, a child must learn that he cannot run around and touch everything in someone else’s home. He cannot play when he has homework or chores to finish. He cannot spend his entire holidays just playing. He needs to do some useful things at the same time.

 

Etiquette 20 

✏ Children often get angry when they do not achieve their desires. When they lose a game, they may sulk, or whine, or even attack the rival/s.

In time, and through the help and guidance of others, they will learn to control themselves. This is especially true if the play is supervised or at least watched by an adult.

Through play the child will learn to accept defeat, and not feel jealous of another’s victory. It removes the self-centeredness that is very common in children.

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