If you find yourself angry, heated, short tempered, easy to lash out at people and easily inclined to make a big scene out of a small issue, then it’s time to think about what’s really making you an angry and unforgiving person.
There are interesting pointers that Allah Almighty gave us in Surat AsShuraa when He said:
“And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive” (Qur’an 42: 37)
Read this verse again carefully.
Who are the people who -not only control their anger- but also elevate above it and have peace and serenity to forgive those who angered them?
It is those who avoid major sins and immoralities.
But how is this related to you if you are avoiding major sins?
Well, watch what you are consuming and exposing yourself to on a daily basis. Do you by any chance happen to watch certain types of movies, songs, websites or social media pages that contain immoral content? Are you exposing yourself to scenes, images, language or even jokes that are impure and indecent?
Truth is, these materials are all around us. So we are either actively engaged in avoiding them, or we are mindlessly consuming them.
If this is the case and you are consuming them, chances are, this type of content – without you even knowing- is taking away the peace and light of your heart.
Instead of being in a state of peace, light, calmness, poise and maturity that come with the remembrance of Allah and engaging in good and pure deeds, watching immoral content would make you irritated, easily-angered and incapable of controlling your emotions. You can monitor your own behaviour to notice that for yourself.
But why exactly is this taking away your light and troubling your heart?
Check what the Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) said:
It was narrated from Abu Hurairah that the Messenger of Allah SAW said:
“When the believer commits sin, a black spot appears on his heart. If he repents and gives up that sin and seeks forgiveness, his heart will be polished. But if (the sin) increases, (the black spot) increases. That is the Ran that Allah mentions in His Book: “Nay! But on their hearts is the Ran (covering of sins and evil deeds) which they used to earn.” [83:14]
Exposing your eyes, ears and heart to immorality is unquestionably a sin. This is why Allah keeps warning us against it.
“Say, “Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited to you. [He commands] that you not associate anything with Him, and to parents, good treatment, and do not kill your children out of poverty; We will provide for you and them. And do not approach immoralities – what is apparent of them and what is concealed. And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden [to be killed] except by [legal] right. This has He instructed you that you may use reason.” (6: 115)
“And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart – about all those [one] will be questioned.” (Qur’an 17: 36)
It’s not a small deal and it’s not a light matter to be exposing yourself to immorality. It has major implications on your inner and outer well-being. It may be temporarily pleasing or entertaining, but it is deeply damaging to you as a person and as a believer. Being angry, frustrated, short tempered, overreacting and having conflicts with everyone around you is only one manifestation of it.
But why does this matter so much? Why should you care about that? Because nobody wants to be around an angry person… not your family, not your friends, not your workmates, not your spouse and not even your own self! You won’t be able to handle your own self at some point. This state damages your spirituality and your relationship with Allah and the people on so many levels.
When the light of your heart is tarnished, you won’t be able to adequately receive Divine wisdom or experience Divine light and beauty; you also won’t be able to see life clearly and peacefully. Truly, nothing matches the complete satisfaction and total peace one gets while being in a state of remembrance of Allah… and this experience will not happen if one is consuming impure materials.
Think about it: If you have a cup of clean water and you pour some dirt and other liquids in there, will the water remain pure? When you pour out what’s in this cup, will it be clean and pure water? Absolutely not. Same with your heart, it’s pure and clean and has light, but when you consume impure materials, what’s in your heart will be affected and it won’t have light or be able to reflect light as it should be. So watch what you pour in your cup.
Really, purifying oneself and actively engaging in self purification is a crucial matter for one’s own peace, serenity, relationship with Allah and the people.
How to achieve that?
1- Ask Allah – The Source of Light- to purify you and reclaim the light back in your heart, mind and soul.
You can make this dua: “O Allah! Place light in my heart; [and light in my tongue;] and place light in my hearing; and place light in my seeing; and place light from below me; and place light from above me, and light on my right, and light on my left; and place light ahead of me; and place light behind me; [and place light in my self;] and make the light greater for me.”
2- Try at least for a week to unfollow and disconnect from all the content that you know is immoral and impure. Have the courage to do that, and observe for yourself how this will help you regain more peace and calmness in your heart and your life.
3- Since you gave up something by doing the above, try to replace it with a healthy good and pure halal alternative. Be it engaging in social activities or community work that exposes you to people who need help and allows you to contribute. This will enrich and expand your heart.
4- Engage with the Qur’an. Engage with the Qur’an. Engage with the Qur’an. Can’t emphasize enough on this point. The Qur’an is the ultimate source of light and healing. Reciting and listening to the words of Allah give incomparable peace. Reading and listening to tafseer (Qur’an exegesis) is an absolutely magnificent experience and it is very thrilling and very enriching and definitely give peace, clarity and a great sense of satisfaction. There are plenty of Islamic lectures online by great speakers. You will definitely find something that you enjoy and that enriches your time.
5- Try to seek Allah’s love. How? Read this hadith:
The Messenger of Allah said that Allah Glorified and Exalted said:
“…. the most beloved thing with which My slave comes nearer to Me, is what I have enjoined upon him; and My slave keeps on coming closer to Me through performing Nawafil (voluntary prayers or doing extra deeds besides what is obligatory) until I love him, (so much so that) I become his hearing with which he hears, and his sight with which he sees, and his hand with which he strikes, and his leg with which he walks; and if he asks Me something, I will surely give him, and if he seeks My Protection (refuge), I will surely protect him”. [Al-Bukhari]