Marital disputes and lack of love between the spouses is a very common occurrence in today’s society. For some it has even become a regular part of their daily lives. Constant arguing and disputing, shouting and insulting, tension, anxiety, tears and regret are all things that could actually be brought to a minimal if we took extra care of maintaining a healthy relationship with our spouse.
But how I hear you ask! Just how can I build this happy healthy relationship that so many are longing for! Well, dear sisters much of our answer lies in the golden seven letter word: R-E-S-P-E-CT.
Yes, respect is something your husband really craves. You might say, “He doesn’t deserve it.” Or, “He will have to earn it.” Women are very good at pointing out their husbands’ faults and failures and punishing them for not meeting their needs, but that only leads to discontent and distance in the marriage. We all know that yelling, nagging, and belittling are disrespectful and ineffective. So I’m suggesting a radical concept: Treat him like a king, and eventually, he will begin to treat you like a queen!
So, how do you show your husband respect? Here are a few ways:
- Show your appreciation by thanking him for doing all he does for you and your family. Thank him for being a good husband. Also, thank him for doing the little things he does around the house. Nothing is too small for a ‘Jazakallah’!
- Honor your husband. Honor him at home by the way you treat him and compliment him in front of his family as well as your children.
- Encourage him by being supportive of his career path. It is important to your husband to feel that he is successful in your eyes. Listen to his aspirations. Talk about how you can accomplish them together. Encouragement can breathe life into him.
- When his contributions to you and the family go unnoticed, he can quickly feel unappreciated. Many women forget this. Always remember to express your appreciation verbally for all that he does to provide for you.
- Make it easy for your husband to love you. A complaining, demanding, angry, or controlling wife is not easy to love. Do you make it easy for your husband to love you? Are you gentle and encouraging, positive and uplifting? I’ve heard it said that the atmosphere of a home has a great deal to do with the mood of the wife…Make your house a garden from the gardens of paradise by keeping yourself, your husband and your Rabb happy!
- When it comes to making a decision, ask his opinion before making a final decision. When you struggle with something, talk it out with him. Ask for his insight and opinion. Nothing usurps your husband’s authority quicker than making major decisions without him. He is the Ameer (head) of the home and respecting him in that role means you make decisions together, leaving the final say to him.
Do all of the above fee Sabeelillah and you will find Allah put plenty of Barakah in everything you do! May the Almighty give us all the ability to honor this beautiful quality of respect which each and every blessed wife of our beloved Rasul(sallallahu alaihi wasallam) possessed. Ameen!