I am a young teenage girl just out of High school. I was going steady with a Muslim boy for 2 years. I relaxed myself with him as he pledged to marry me. However, now that I am pregnant he says that he cannot marry me since his mother is not happy. What should we do? Disobey his mother or should I just forget him?
Response from the Fatwa Department ……..
Allah Ta’ala says, “And do not venture anywhere near (the act) of Zina (adultery) for it is indeed a transgression and an evil way.” (Surah Al-Israa, verse 32)
Before addressing the query, we wish to emphasize on the point that all types of contact between non-Mahram males and females is strictly prohibited. Talking, interacting, chatting, etc is Haraam and strongly condemned in the Shariah as is evident from the above verse of the Qur’aan.
In the afore-mentioned verse all ways which engender adultery are prohibited. This verse is an eloquent expression of the prohibition of the ways and acts which are introductory to adultery. Thus adultery as well as all avenues to adultery are forbidden. Imam Bukhari Rahimahullah has stated a Hadeeth on the authority of Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah Radhiyallahu anhu that Rasulullah Sallallahu alaihi wasallam said:
“The adultery of the eyes is evil looks. The adultery of the feet is to walk towards the sin. The adultery of the tongue is lustful talk. The adultery of the heart is the evil desire and in the end the sexual organs testify all this or deny it.”
In another Hadeeth, Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wasallam said:
“The hands also commit adultery, their adultery is touching; the feet also commit adultery, their adultery is walking towards adultery; the mouth also commits adultery, its adultery is kissing.” (Muslim, Abu Dawood)
Chatting to non-Mahrams of the opposite gender on the cell phone and internet is also regarded as Zina of the hands.
In a Hadeeth narrated by Sayyiduna Samurah Radiyallaahu anhu regarding a dream of Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it is mentioned that Jibra’eel and Mika’eel Alaihimas salaam came to Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and took him to a certain place, Nabi Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam said, “We walked until we came to something that looked like an oven. Its top section was narrow and the inside was broad. From it sounds of screaming were heard.”
Rasulullah Sallallahu alayhi wa sallam further says: “We looked inside and we saw naked men and women. We also saw flames from beneath them. When these flames scorched them, they screamed.” I asked Jibra’eel Alaihis Salaam: “Who are these people?” He replied, “These are the males and females who committed the grave act of Zina. This will be their punishment till the day of Qiyaamah.” (Bukhari).
The Harms of Zina [Adultery and Fornication] are Manifold
1. Allah Ta’ala becomes very angry.
2. The reckoning in the hereafter will be very severe.
3. The person will enter Jahannam.
4. The Barakah (blessing) of his Rizq (sustenance) is lost.
5. He is deprived from doing good.
6. He becomes hated and cursed in the eyes of the common people.
7. The nation involved in Zina will be afflicted with droughts, plagues and previously unheard of sicknesses
8. The destruction of the locality.
9. The cause of earthquakes.
10. The birth of illegitimate children.
It is indeed unfortunate that some of our Muslim brothers and sisters have lost their morals and values and have discarded the natural veils of modesty with which Allah Ta’ala has blessed us. Those involved in this horrendous sin of Zina should immediately make Taubah and beg Allah Ta’ala for forgiveness together with making the firm intention of never to return to this vile and wretched deed again.
The consequences of Zina are disastrous, especially upon females. Let alone the punishments she will have to face in the Aakhirah and the feeling of disgrace and being a cheap and loose girl who has given up her chastity, in many cases, she goes through the misfortune of being dumped after being used by her partner.
Your situation is just one of the numerous similar situations that have come to our attention. In almost all cases of illicit relationships, the girl is used by the boy just to satisfy his lust. The poor girl gets carried away by the boys charming ways and his show of love and affection for her as well as his promises of marriage to her but is ignorant of the ulterior motives of the boy. Although he may be showing her such love, compassion and devotion, the object that lurks under all this is just one; to use her for the satisfaction of his lust. Many a times, the girl possesses high morals and sound Islamic values but for the sake of maintaining her relationship with the boy, she discards her veils of chastity and stoops to the low level of committing the deplorable act of Zina. Unfortunately, this does not ultimately help her relationship as the goal of the boy is to use her and thereafter, settle down with a decent and innocent girl when the time for marriage approaches.
Take a look around and see how many illicit relationships prior to marriage end up in marriage? Very few will be ones deduction. Why? Because the boy wanted a good time prior to marriage and now that it is time for him to get married he wants a decent and even pious girl who will be an obedient and loyal wife. Not someone who has no self respect and dignity. That girl from whom he had snatched away her self respect and chastity is no more to him than a used bin bag.
We therefore implore all the Muslim girls to adopt the full Shar’ee Hijab, externally and internally and abstain from all types of non-permissible interaction with males. We also emphatically urge the young Muslim girls to never ever give up their chastity and Islamic values under any circumstance as this always end up in disaster and the girl always suffers the most as she falls victim to false and hollow promises that outwardly seem to be genuine.
In your situation, we suggest that you tie the sacred knot of Nikah with the consent of your parents. It is not permissible to abort the child.
If one wishes success in this world and the hereafter, it is important to obey one’s parents. This is a strict command of Allah and disobedience to parents leads to hardship and misfortune in this world and the hereafter.
It is therefore important that parents inculcate the correct values and morals in their children and monitor their activities in order to save them from falling prey to such vices. The following should be adopted as mandatory:
a) Parents should not allow their children in those environments where there is intermingling of sexes.
b) Children should not be allowed cell phones and internet access regardless of their age. If, for some reason, there is a need to provide these facilities for the child, it should be well monitored.
c) Cell phones should always be in the open and not hidden. Parents should browse through the text messages of their children as well as their mobile applications. Chat applications like MXIT and Mig33 etc. are taboo and are a clear indication that the bearer of such applications is up to no good and is most probably involved in some Haraam.
d) Mothers should take their daughters to Islamic programs regularly.
Remember, the sin of the child is the sin of the mother and father if they did not:
a) Impart proper Deeni education;
b) Inculcate correct Islamic values; and:
c) Did not get them married when they were of marriageable age.
In conclusion, parents are urged to look after their children and adopt every possible method to ensure that they are saved from all harm and vices. Also, the Ummah at large, males and females are urged to observe the laws of Hijab at all times. This will bring down the mercy of Allah Ta’ala and will also bring comfort to ones home and life.
May Allah guide us all and assist us in abstaining from all types of sins, Ameen.