Let Go of Grudges, for Your Own Sake

“Pardon them and overlook – Allah loves those who do good.” (Qur’an 5:13)

If we hold grudges, our spirits get stuck like trapped birds. We can’t fly the way we’re supposed to, because our own resentments bind us and hold us down. When you hate someone, they don’t feel it. Only you do. It affects only your own heart, until your heart hardens and your vision narrows, and life loses its joy and zest.

We must forgive each other and forgive ourselves. Let go of resentments from the past. Do it for your own sake, because letting go and forgiving is the only way to be happy.

Whatever others have done against you, let it go. Consign it to Allah, then forgive. Whatever you have done against others, apologize and ask forgiveness, and ask Allah’s forgiveness as well.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) was seated in a gathering with the Sahaabah (his Companions) when he looked towards the entrance and said, “A man of Paradise is coming.” At that instance someone who seemed to be very ordinary entered the Masjid where they were seated. One Sahaabi was curious as to why the Prophet had said such a thing about this man, so he followed the man to his house. The Sahaabi told the man of Paradise that he was a traveler, and was invited to stay as a guest. For three days the Sahaabi watched the man of Paradise, but he saw nothing unusual in the man’s character or worship. Finally he told the man what the Prophet had said and asked him what was so special about him. The man thought for a long time and said, “There might be one thing — before going to sleep every night I forgive everyone and sleep with a clean heart.”

Forgive Yourself

This is important. Forgiveness needs to extend in all directions, even to yourself. Whatever you’ve done against yourself, forgive yourself. Don’t hold grudges against yourself. We humans all make mistakes. “Pardon them and overlook – Allah loves those who do good.”

Don’t call yourself names. You are not stupid, shameful, or useless. Just the opposite! You are bright, special and unique, with a special mission in this life. If you feel that you have been corrupted by sin, then the glory of Islaam is that innocence can be yours again, with Tawbah. We Muslims don’t believe in original sin. All human beings were created pure, on the Fitrah. That is your birthright.

That’s why ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as having said: “None of you should say: ‘My soul has become evil,’ but he should say: ‘My soul has become remorseless.'” (Saheeh Muslim)

In other words, your soul has not turned into an evil thing. It is not totally lost. It is just at a point when it is not feeling remorse or sorrow for its actions. But that can be changed! The soul can be softened through prayer, Dua’, Dhikr (remembrance of Allah), fasting, reciting Qur’aan, doing good to others, and other acts of worship, until your soul once again feels remorse, and can return to a state of purity. SubhaanAllaah!

Allah knew exactly what He was doing when He made you. If you don’t trust your own judgment, then trust Allah’s (subhaanahu wa ta’ala).

Tonight, let go of your grudges and sleep with a clean heart.

Tomorrow the day is new, and life goes on. You have far to go and much to do.

Look ahead, with a sunrise in your eyes.