They courted for a year before he had the courage to tell his mother about his love and his intention to marry her.His mother was not impressed as she had already set up samoosa runs for every Sunday of the month yet she reluctantly agreed to meet her.She was nervous and anxious to meet his mother as she adjusted her beautifully draped dupatta she catches a glimpse of her would be mother in law staring at her.She tries to make conversation often answering awkward questions about her culinary skills,education and work after marriage as she is an engineer by profession.The meeting was tense and awkward.She was relieved it was over and decided to text her soon to be husband to find out his opinion of the meeting.He never did answer her call nor her texts.The next morning her mum got a call from his mum to say they were not interested.He never did give an explanation as to why he ended their relationship infact he did not end their relationship his mother did it for him.The reason behind his mother’s disapproval was that she wanted to choose a wife for her son and she did choose a beautiful bride for him alas his marriage lasted for three months.His mother could not adjust to sharing her son.
They met online and chose to peruse a relationship the Halaal way by making nikkah.She was previously divorced with two kids yet he accepted her and her children wholeheartedly.His mother was not impressed with his choice yet she agreed as he had the support of the rest of his family.Soon after his nikkah he began to notice the strained relationship between his mother and his wife.They never connected and his mother often complained to him about the aloof nature of his wife,her dressing(although she is in niqaab),her children,her cleanliness,her cooking,her breathing.Everything about his wife irritated and annoyed his mother to the pint of him starting to abuse his wife both emotionally and physically resulting in them being divorced.His mother could never accept a divorcee as her daughter in law.
They met at a relatives wedding and soon became friends although she was a Christian and he a Muslim.She diligently studied the Quran and hadith before reciting her kalimah and becoming a Muslim as she fell in love with Islam.She adorned her abaayah and hijaab elegantly and attended madressah regularly before making nikkah.Her mother in law and the rest of his family could not come to terms with her past and often ridiculed and embarrassed her of her actions and intentions before reverting to Islam.She used to spend nights crying over words that hurt her yet her husband always loved and supported her through until oneday his mother made him choose between her and his wife.She was six months pregnant when he left.
They met on a samoosa run and he instantly knew she was the one yet his mother disagreed as she was too dark in complexion for her handsome son.He knew she was the one as her akhlaaq and manners were far more beautiful than all the other girls he met.His mother was not happy but plastered a fake smile through the wedding.She often mocked and insulted her daughter in law infront of relatives with regard to her dark skin and caste as she was from a ‘lower’ caste.She emotionally and mentally tortured her daughter in law so much that depression overwhelmed the young lady and she started to have suicidal thoughts which was oblivious to her husband.She hated her based on her skin colour and caste.
Dear mother in law award your daughter in law with the same respect,admiration and love you award to your daughters. She is a precious jewel to her parents who entrusted your son with their child to love and take care of. Encourage your son to marry widows and divorced woman. Raise your son to love and respect their wives and allow your son the freedom to choose their marriage partners,trust your upbringing. This girl leaves her home and her family to make a life with your son and with your family so appreciate her, adore her, compliment her, value her, befriend her and love her unconditionally.
May Allah increase the love and understanding between all mother in laws and daughter in laws.
May Allah give all mothers the ability and understanding to accept their daughter in law as their own child and give all daughter in law’s the ability to accept their mother in law as their own mother.Ameen.
Love is the answer.
By N Chhipa