My name is Sumaiya and I would like to inform my respected readers about what I was and what I have become now.
I am a born Muslim Alhumdulillah, however I did not grow up in an Islamic environment.
My parents separated when I was in grade 11, my mum moved out and a few weeks later my dad moved out. I stayed with my granny (fathers mother) who was non-muslim. I felt as if my whole world came crashing down .I had to make my own decisions in life. I used to see my mum very seldom after school and things weren’t the same.
I changed a lot… I became aggressive, always pushing people that cared about me away. I lived with my granny for a few months and then moved in with my aunt who was also from my father’s side (my dad was a revert so his entire family was non-muslim). Living with my aunt was the best decision I thought at that moment because every teenager would want to have their freedom, do what they want and not have anyone to answer too right? Well that’s how my life was…I was allowed to go wherever I wanted and didn’t have to worry about curfew time. That’s the reason why I didn’t take my religion so serious. I didn’t have any guidance. I was so engrossed in doing things that was completely against Islam, that I never thought of how it would affect me later on in life an what consequences I’ll be facing.
As a youngster you don’t really take life seriously until something bad happens an then you realise what you doing is wrong. I never wore Islamic clothing because I was embarrassed, always worried about what people will think of me or whether they will mock me …I never had khauf (fear of Allah).
I was a Muslim just by name, I had nothing else that would say I’m a proud Muslim. I was not particular of many aspects of Deen especially my Salaah!
My Deen and its commandments had no place in my life. When the adhaan was called out while I was watching tv, I would press pause and when it was finished I would continue watching. This continued for a very long time and I didn’t feel guilty about anything. I was enjoying life, never thought of even sitting and praying at least for a few minutes. Months had passed and one day I got a call from my mother saying that she wants me to come stay with her and that she has remarried.
I hesitated at first but agreed to go after speaking to my aunt who I was living with .
When my mother saw me she was absolutely shocked at how much I changed. She would complain about my dressing, would always try to encourage me to do good, read my Salaah, listen to Islamic nasheeds etc.
She tried so hard to get the word of Deen in me but was not successful. I did what made me happy and didn’t care about my mother or what anyone else thought. I would participate in festivities that was against Islam.
A couple months later Alhumdulillah all that changed.
I started reading authentic Islamic books, I got into contact with an Apa (Teacher) that was active in Da’wah and Tabligh work. I told her everything about how I was and said that I wanted to change completely, she was delighted an happy to teach me, I also joined her on Tuesdays to go for Taleem (classes). For me this was all new because my mums family and I had a different perspective on what Tabligh work was about… truth be told I actually thought very negative about the people who were involved in this work but all that changed when I saw with my own eyes how much sacrifice these people make to spread the work of Deen and I was too quick to judge them.
The things I used to hear at taleem amazed me. I learnt so much in such a short while Alhumdulillah. I now knew what was right and wrong, I could differentiate between what was innovation and what wasn’t.
I started feeling this sudden urge to learn more. I was determined!
After attending a few taleem programmes I had decided to go into purdah. After hearing so many benefits of being in Niqaab, I was eager to become a better Muslim and follow the commandments of Allah.
Allah honours those woman who are in purdah and I also knew it was compulsory to use it. Allah has mentioned it in surah Noor an surah Ahzaab.
It’s like I’ve been given a second chance by Allah Ta’ala to be a better Muslima.
I started reading my 5 daily Salaah, Qur’aan, etc. And by all of this I had already felt a change in me. My Imaan grew stronger. I’m a proud Muslima now and shukar to Allah I’m in purdah and married in a wonderful family.
In this time of fitnah (tribulation), it’s very difficult to remain steadfast onto Deen, you will get people who will try to bring you down by negative talks but remember that you are doing everything to please Allah and you will get the reward inshallah and also be in the company of the righteous and make Dua everyday not only for yourself but for the entire Ummat. Who knows when we would be given a second chance because death can come at any time. So the time is now to start preparing inshallah.
Remember this sinful slave in your Duas.