He is your provider, protector and your partner in life. Don’t forget him when you have your kids. You’re a mother but you’re still a wife. Don’t neglect his needs and always remember that its ok to have your off days but don’t let the messy bun and kaftan become your ‘uniform’. Try and chuck that away just before he gets home. Freshen up and use something pretty and model for him when he gets home. Yesss.. Don’t be shy, he’s your man!!
Always dress to impress him and keep yourself attractive just for him.
Always smell good and no, Domestos is not a fragrance. It’s not easy on most days between household chores and kids but never stop trying to keep your husband’s attention.
Make special effort on certain days, no need to struggle for a babysitter, just lay out your supper with flair and ‘arrive’ all dolled up…. Make up etc… And voilà.. Its date night!!
Enjoy the craziness of these moments even if it’s a complete fail because the rice got burnt while you were getting your eyeliner on point.
Have mercy on him for there are days when he is too exhausted to talk or discuss how you just couldn’t get your toddler to have his afternoon nap or about your frustration because the domestic is using up all the Handy Andy.
Greet him with more smiles and less exasperation when he gets home after work. He’s bringing his own emotional baggage from work and there’s bound to be a clash if you immediately start ranting about your own day.
If there’s something to be discussed especially if it’s to address something of a sensitive nature then it’s imperative to be tactful. Timing is everything.
She is more than just the wifey and mother of your children.
She leaves her home to join you in yours. She will follow you throughout your life because of her love and respect for you.
Women are talkative by nature so try and make time each day to listen to her ‘mundane’ chatter. You may not realise it, but this is her way to connect with you, you are after all, her partner and she yearns for adult conversation. She wants you to be a part of her world and most often that world would be the raising of your kids.
She spends countless hours listening to little children either talking or fighting, she’s cleaning poop from wriggly bums and then she’s cooking and cleaning up.
Forgive her annoyed expressions when the kids start fighting for ‘simple’ things. You’re probably hearing it for the first time but that has been all she’s been listening to the entire day. She’s more than just miffed, she’s just really very tired.
Offer to babysit, maybe take the kids away to another room for at least 30 minutes. Aside from immense gratitude from her, this will be the ideal opportunity to bond with your kids too.
She doesn’t need a fairy tale life although it won’t hurt to treat her like a Queen now and again.. she just wants appreciation so don’t be shy with your compliments. The time and attention she wants is not necessarily taking her out, although thats an awesome idea too! Talk to her.. We love sharing our thoughts, we’re vocal creatures by nature and just want you to listen!!
Try giving her your undivided attention for a little while each day, spoil her.. Yess we love pretty things, handbags and shoes..hint hint…
But this isn’t necessarily what she wants. A small gesture on your part, the simplest and inexpensive but sincerest of gifts are usually the most treasured.
🌸Dearest Mother in law,
I know it’s difficult to see your son look at someone else with so much of love, but just remember, the love he feels for her is incomparable to his love for you. Maternal love is and should never be equated to the love of a spouse.
If ever you lose patience with her, please try and remember that she is new to being a wife and is trying her best to adjust to her new lifestyle and her new family aka her in laws, just like you did so many years ago when you too entered your new home with uncertainty.
Help her build her new home and family and guide her in a manner you would have wanted to be advised. If she needs to be corrected then don’t chastise her in a manner that will cause her embarrassment. She is also an adult. Advise and teach with the intention to guide and always use Hikmah when approaching her faults.
🌸Dearest daughter in law,
Try and ignore the stigma attached to ‘The Mother in Law’. An objective mindset will ensure you a more positive outcome.
She may not be your own mother but she has raised the man you love and married so she is deserving of the very same rights.
It may not always be hunky dory with all of your in laws but that’s to be expected in every relationship, friendship or otherwise, so instead of labelling your connection with them as just in laws because of misunderstandings try and approach your association with a little more sensitivity and try and adjust your stance from constant defence mode to just being neutral.
Judge each person and situation individually because just as you’re judging them to see if they’re being the typical in laws… They too are forming their own perspective of the new daughter in law.
‘New broom sweeps clean’ this clichéd line more synonymous with daughter in laws is actually applicable to both families that come together during a marriage. It’s up to every single one of us to decide how ‘clean’ we are willing sweep after ‘new’ phase has passed.
May Allah SWT always bless all families with unity.. In sha Allah 💖
Rambling Muslimah 🌸🌸🌸