I recently got married and my wife don’t want to observed Hijab accordingly Sunnah. I told her so many times and she gets upset every time I tell her. Can you please tell me what I need to do?
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
During the blessed days of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam, the Sharī’ah was revealed by Allah gradually. The laws of Islam were implemented one after another over a number of years. Allah Ta’ālā did not order the believers to do everything on the very first revelation.
From the above we learn a great lesson; a human needs to be gradually trained and encouraged to practice Sharī’ah for long lasting and productive results. This does not mean one who is conscious of this uses the above as an excuse to forego the laws of Sharī’ah. This understanding should be acknowledged when giving da’wah and working to encourage others to practice Islam.
Thus, forcing your wife to wear Hijāb may reap instant results; however, the side effects of force are critical. Force will mutate into anger, hatred and rebellion which can shake the foundations of any marriage.
Be gentle, loving and diplomatic in your approach. Feed your spouse with love of Islam and the Sharī’ah. Make her realise her value and worth.
I recommend you to practice on the following actions:
1) Make du’ā to Allah.
This is the primary step in everything we want to do. Allah can soften the hardest of hearts.
2) Listen to Islamic lectures and Halāl Anāshīd (Islamic poetry) at home.
This will subconsciously tap in to your wife’s pysche and build an inclination for Islam.
3) Have Islamic literature available at home.
Having literature in sight will capture the sight of your spouse. She may be induced to read a line or two which could work wonders on her.
4) Take her for ‘Umrah and Hajj.
The sacred cities of Makkah and Madinah are powerhouses of spirituality. Anyone who visits these places with an open heart will be humbled and deeply inspired.
5) Read Islamic books together.
Take our 5-10 minutes a day to sit together and read. This will makes the bonds of marriage stronger and infuse more love. In addition, this will educate and inspire your wife.
6) Let her attend segregated lectures of local scholars.
The words of the pious can have deep impact on many souls. Thus, you should encourage your wife to attend any segregated lectures in your local vicinity.
And Allah Ta’ālā Knows Best
Mufti Faraz Adam al-Mahmudi,