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Our parents are our parents


AS she finished up her mid-day meal and rose from the dining table to rinse out her plate, Khadija pondered over the best tactic to approach her mother.

“Mmm…that was one of the best meals you’ve cooked, mum” She said to the figure poring over a cookbook.

Her mother looked up and smiled, then returned to her recipe.

“So, I was thinking, mum,” Khadija continued, taking her mother’s good mood as a wonderful omen,“the girls were talking about heading over to Sara’s this weekend, for a little get-together of sorts”

Her mother looked up thoughtfully. “I don’t think so dear, I haven’t a clue as to what sort of a girl she is. I haven’t met her mother.”

“But mum, the whole class is going” Khadija whined!

“The whole class is not my daughter. I’m sorry, sweetie. Why don’t you invite them here, instead?”

“Mum! This isn’t eighth grade anymore. Don’t you trust me?” Khadija gritted her teeth.

“Of course I trust you, it’s your age I don’t trust”

“My age?!“ Khadija asked incredulously

Her mother’s previously good mood was fast deteriorating, but Khadija was past caring.

“My age?! Every time I ask for something that’s what you say! I’m the only one in class without a cell phone, and as if that isn’t enough, they will eat me alive if I don’t go to this party! College students are invited!” Khadija seethed.

Her mother stood up, barely controlling her anger, “Khadija, go to you’re room. We’ll discuss this when your father gets back”

Khadija didn’t need to be told twice, upon reaching her bedroom doorframe, she yelled, “You’re ruining my life!!” before slamming the door on its hinges and collapsing on her bed in torrents of tears.

Okay, if this had been a face to face meeting, I know more than half of you’d lie to me if I’d have asked you’re reaction provided a similar situation. Every one of us, especially us teens out there have gone through a rough patch with our parents at some point in our lives. Me included. It’s only natural that we don’t always agree with them. That we don’t always see eye to eye with them. Albeit, there are some of us out there who get along pretty well with their parents. Some, however, are darn convinced our parents have aliens living in their bodies. Some feel they deserve more attention from their parents. Some feel they receive too much. Some are comfortable sharing their daily lives with their parents, while some lead a double life. The bottom line, however, is that our parents are our parents, whatever anyone says.

To walk in another’s shoes, you first have to take off your own’ is one proverb I rigorously follow and believe in. I believe, the key to fully understanding anyone, be they parents, friends, teachers or your crazy siblings, you have to walk a mile in their shoes. So lets.

We’re always saying to our parents, “You don’t understand me. No one does”. Has it ever occurred that perhaps, maybe, just maybe, it’s ‘us’ who don’t understand ‘them’! We have pressures and worries like friends and exams. We get hurt and lock ourselves in our rooms and cry. Their problems may not be at our level, but while we worry about these things, they fret about this month’s rent and your upcoming school fees. What if they too get hurt and want to just let go and cry? What do they do then? Having observed mine, I can assure you, being a mom is no easy task. Moms never get a day off, or a time out from their jobs like we do from school or college. Think back, when was the last time your mother got a chance to go out on her own, let go, and have fun?? A certain dad maybe laughed at by his colleagues because of the car he drives simply because he’s saving up to buy his kid one. Have we stopped and thought of that?!

Two things we can achieve once we stop to understand and listen to our parents:

Firstly: We’ll learn to respect them more the more we learn about who they really are, having first let go of any paradigms we’ve clutched close for so long.

Secondly: You’ll get you’re way much often if you do take time to understand and listen to our parents. Trust me; it’s not a manipulative trick, but a factual principle. If they feel you’re understanding them, they’ll be open to listening to you, they’ll trust you more, and will be willing to be more flexible.

What we must get is that our parents may have had a limitless number of unfulfilled dreams they’ve had to give up simply for our sakes; to ensure that we grow up to being one of the best people on the face of the planet. They’re people too. They’re happy, they’re sad, they’re hurt, they’re offended, they don’t always get things right…just like me, you, and everyone else out there!!

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