Jamiatul Ulama KZN Council of Muslim Theologians
Date:December 30, 2025
Non-Muslim western parents who fall into the modern, non-traditional camp, usually do one of two things to their daughters:
1. Either they sexualize their daughters,
Or
2. They masculinize their daughters.
Sexualizing daughters comes most often in the form of clothing and inappropriate “sports.” It looks like a five-year-old girl wearing pants that say “juicy” on her behind. Or a seven-year-old girl wearing tiny, skin-tight booty shorts out and about. Or a little girl wearing a two-piece bikini at the beach or public swimming pool and swimming around strangers.
It also looks like parents putting their young daughters into “sports” like cheerleader or dance or gymnastics, where the MANDATORY uniform is a tiny, tight sexual outfit that reveals more of the young girl’s body than it covers. Tiny micro-shorts, mini-skirts, bras or bralets, crop tops and halter tops that show off the young girl’s chest area, bare stomach, naked legs, are completely normal.
In the tournaments and competitions of such girls’ “sports,” these young girls are expected to slather their young fresh faces in heavy makeup. It ages them, making elementary-school girls look much older and more mature. The young girls, thus provocatively “dressed” and with their faces alluringly painted, proceed to dance, gyrate, do flips, shake their bodies across the stage in front of an audience of strangers and grown men and women.
This is highly sexualized behavior masquerading as “sports” and “athletics” for girls. Parents sexualize and objectify their own innocent young daughters from childhood, and parade them in front of strange adults. This is considered perfectly normal.
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Other western parents take a different route: they masculinize their daughters.
This looks like enrolling their daughters into aggressive combat sports like wrestling, martial arts, muy thai, judo, etc. The norm is for these classes to be mixed, boys and girls together. They train together every practice, boys and girls getting extremely physical with one another, in one another’s face, invading personal space.
If you have never seen a boy and a girl grapple or wrestle or do martial arts together, it’s quite graphic and disturbing. These combat sports have the guy grabbing the girl’s body intimately, pinning her arms, spreading her legs, etc. Doing the techniques correctly involves being literally in your partner’s face, breathing into their neck, arms wrapped tightly around their torso or thigh or chest. Parents watch as their daughter is essentially hugged by a random man, flipped over, and pinned under his weight with his face hovering over hers and his body between her knees.
At wrestling competitions and tournaments, girls and boys fight against one another until around the age of 13 or 14 (depending on the organization). So not only is training and daily or weekly practice mixed, but also official competitions.
For wrestling competitions and tournaments, it is MANDATORY to wear what’s called a singlet, which is a tiny, form-fitting “outfit” that clings to the body like a second skin. It has no sleeves, thin shoulder straps, and skin-tight micro-shorts. This is what girls are made to wear to compete at tournaments in this sport, as a rule.
Not only is this also highly sexual, it also masculinizes the girls. It creates in the feminine nature of the daughter the desire to physically and psychologically compete with men, clash with men, win against men. It breeds a very particular type of competitiveness and aggression that isn’t naturally found in females. It forces her mind into the path of wanting to dominate, conquer, crush.
This is wholly foreign to female human nature.
This chips away at femininity.
Whether daughters are sexualized or masculinized, these sorts of upbringing harm daughters and warp their nature and erode their femininity.
These practices erase the girl’s natural haya’ (حياء, modesty, bashfulness). They expose her young body to strange men and innocent mind to strange ideas unfit for her developmental level.
What do you think happens to our daughters when we as parents set them on these types of paths from a young age?
How do activities like cheerleading or wrestling or dance affect the heart and mind of a young girl?
How does revealing our young daughter’s body from childhood impact her choices as a teenager and as an adult woman?
How do all these things influence her relationship to men and her view of them?
How might it impact her future marriage? How she sees her husband?
Muslim parents, protect your daughters.
Shield them.
Cover them.
Nurture their natural femininity and cherish their innate haya.
Preserve their fitra.
Don’t teach your daughters to compete against men or to want to dominate them, or to entice men by dressing or acting provocatively.
Teach your daughters that they are young women, a separate beautiful creation of Allah, made to be distinct from men, but equal to them in spiritual worth before Allah. We women are beings that are different from men, but made to live in harmony with them. We women are made to respect and appreciate our future husband and support him, not compete with him or try to dominate him. We women are made to dazzle our husbands and family with our softness and beauty at home, but to cover our body and shield our beauty from the gaze of strangers.
Muslim parents, raise your daughters to be strong believers and righteous future wives and mothers. May Allah make it easy, ameen!
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