Bint Ahmed Sulaymaan & S Hunter– Cii Radio
“I lived a life worse than the worst disbeliever.”
This is the story of a young girl who went astray. She admits to having done every “filthy thing” in life. Anything filthy that you can imagine, she was involved in it from the age of 16. For four years she lived away from her parents. This all began with music she explains. “I became addicted to music. I could not live without it. On a daily basis I was listening to music for six, seven or eight hours. Whenever I took off the headphones I became crazy.” Someone from school then introduced her to weed. Whenever she wasn’t listening to music, she says she needed an escape. She escaped in weed and became addicted. Her parents noticed. She could not live in the same house so she moved. Social services provided her with a flat and money. She left school.
“I lived a life worse than the worst disbeliever,” she says.
Zina, drugs, alcohol – all types of filthy things became part of her life. After she had tried all types of impermissible things, she says, “I woke up one morning, and maybe my mother was making dua for me, I woke up in the morning and said ‘enough is enough’.” She made the decision to go to her parents. She knocked on her parents’ door and when her mother answered, she kissed her mother and said she was coming back home to them. “Allah guided me.” She never imagined that she would be guided but it was the dua of her parents she says. Her father described how he and his wife never stopped making dua.
Friends may know of your bad actions and will call you a hypocrite for still reading your salaah. Don’t give up on your Salaah. People will look down at you because you aren’t living correctly, don’t give up asking for guidance. There are parents who will see their kids go astray, encourage them to keep making dua for them. When you live a life of disobedience, a glimmer of yearning for guidance is the light in the dark hole you bury yourself in.
“The only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”
There is not a leaf that falls, water that spills, breath that ends, or life that begins but that Allah Subhanahu Wata’alah knows of it. Allah is always there. Allah does not want to put us in the fire of hell. Allah SWT is Ar Rahmaan and Ar Raheem and He wants the best for us. Allah wants only goodness for us and wants to give us Jannah. But we have to go to Allah. We have to turn to Allah SWT, obey Allah, ask Allah SWT for guidance and strength. As long as you are breathing you have an opportunity to correct yourself and turn to Allah.
I remember as a little girl, whenever I would ask my dad for anything he would say: “before you ask me, read two rakaats of Salaah and ask your Creator first. As a child, this would frustrate me endlessly, my logic would argue that of course I know my Rabb is giving it to me but through my father’s wallet!
Not realising the wisdom behind my father’s advice as a child, I found myself obeying with a heavy heart. Little did I realise that these early connections with my Rabb, built such a great foundation for the rest of my life.
Lip service. Alot of times, the faith of an adult is just that. Yes, our Rabb is a sustainer and nourisher, but logic demands that we say, “but you have to work in order to sustain an income” . This kind of mentality is not wrong, but leads to a weakening of the faith and Imán of a believer. Which then leads to ones hope in the help of his Rabb being weakened.
Allah says in the famous Hadeeth Qudsi, “I treat my servants in accordance of his expectations of me”.
We see this total and undivided faith in the lives of the Sahaaba. Faith that was honed and brought to life by the Holy Prophet SAW until these men became giants amongst men.
Once, during the caliphate of Umar (ra) there was a fire heading towards Madina at an
alarming rate. A man rushed to Umar RA in a state of fear. At this moment, Umar RA’s demeanor did not even change, and he says: “Go to Tameem Ad Dary, he will take care of it”. The man looks on in total astonishment. A volcano is shooting flames, and this Ameerul Mu’mineen is so calm and sends him to one man. The man highly doubtful goes to Tameem (RA) and he gets up and with an undenying faith he goes toward the mountain and simply puts his hands up as if to push the fire back. The onlookers are full of doubt, wondering how can a fire be put back without even touching it. But the giant amount of faith brings forth the help of his Rabb in the blink of an eye!
The stories are endless, Allah remove Yunis as from the belly of the whale, removed Yusuf as from the prison, Moosa as from firaun. In Badr, Allah helped the Muslims with rain and malaaika, in the battle of khandaq with a storm, for the conquest of makkah with the very treaty that seemed against the Muslims .. But the underlying principle is one, faith in Allah
has different levels, and this faith has to be developed until logic is defied.
A particular story of the unseen help of Allah explains how with that level of faith, this Help from the unseen will even come in the simplest of needs. Once the Holy Prophet saw was playing with his grandson, when the little one asked if he should go to his mother. Abu Hurayra RA seeing that it was dark and nightfall suggested that he go with the little boy. The Prophet saw refused his request and looked up at the heavens, at that moment Allah sent His help for something so simple and seemingly mundane, the clouds parted and the moon shone it’s light until the little boy walked home safely! Subahaanallah the help of Allah came even in such a mundane moment, simply because the faith of the heart was
constantly relying only on the help of the King of all Kings.
And Allah describing this help says : “ألا أن نصر الله قريب” Behold! The help of Allah is close.
So yes, all those years ago, a simple act of a father has allowed me to go beyond the limitations of my logic and realise that Iman has to be fed until logic is broken…
Allah SWT does not give up on you, don’t give up on yourself.