I have recently reverted to Islam. There is a man who is interested in me and wants to make me his second wife. i agreed to it but now he says he knows his first wife won’t accept it so it will have to be done in secret. i love him but i’m not sure if i can do this, it feels as if it will involve alot of lies and deceit. And I don’t want to destroy their marriage. He says it is allowed in Islam but how can you have a secret wife and maintain that relationship. How will that work? I don’t know whether to believe anything he says.
In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāhi wa-barakātuh.
Sister in Islam,
Your understanding of a secret marriage having major implications is correct. While it is permissible for one to have a secret marriage, it is not advisable to do so. One has to bear in mind its consequences,
- If the first wife is not mentally prepared, it may have a severe impact on the first marriage.
- If the husband passes away, both wives are entitled to equal inheritance. However, in the case of a secret marriage, the second wife may be disadvantaged due to the marriage being unknown.
- In a polygamous marriage of the two wives, the husband has to equally distribute his nights between the two wives. In a secret marriage you may be deprived of your rightful time.
Furthermore, there can be other implications which may lead to serious disputes. As a revert to Islam who wishes to live by the ideals of Islam, you may observe bad behaviour that may negatively impact on you.
If the man in reference wishes to marry you, he may do so by adopting the correct method without causing any harm to anyone and keeping the matter transparent.
Our advice to you is, seek Allahs guidance and ask him to show you the correct path for he surely assists his servants.
We pray to Allah that he guides you to what is best for you and grants you a righteous spouse.
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai.