Harshness of the Tongue
(influenced by the Inner-self filth)
Our inner-self filth can very often lead our tongue to commit numerous sins. One sin repeatedly committed by our tongue is that of the harshness in our speech as well as in our tone. At times when we are talking to a person, we blurt out some foul words in an equally repugnant tone, without realising how much we are hurting that person.
To attain piety and also to create a positive impression upon the people we are communicating to, we should always keep that harshness away from the language we speak and from the tone we use.
Speaking Gently 1
When we talk to people we should always speak gently.
Speaking gently involves using gentle words and a gentle tone. It is better by far to rule by love than fear! Let no harsh words ruin the good that we may do or the good that we may carry in our heart.
Let the words that come from our mouth be like gems, pearls or diamonds and not like spears, arrows or bullets.
Aisha (radhiAllahu ‘anha) reported: Nabi Sallallahu ‘alaihi Wasallam said: “If Allah Almighty intends good for a household, he lets gentleness enter their home.” (Source: Musnad Aḥmad 23906).
There are many around us who deserve our gentle word, so we should speak gently to them. It will not cost us anything. On the contrary, if we speak gently to them we can gain a lot in this world as well as in the next.
In short, the gentleness in our speech can become the means of reflecting the goodness of our nature and our personality.
Speaking style of Nabi Muhammad (Sallallahu ‘alaihi Wasallam)
Nabi Muhammad (Sallallahu ‘alaihi Wasallam) always spoke distinctly, clearly and in a way that everyone could understand. The listeners could count his words one by one. When it was necessary, he would repeat the important sentences three times during his speech.
When Allah’s Messenger (Sallallahu ‘alaihi Wasallam) talked, he always acted like a humble brother, a compassionate teacher and a merciful father towards his Companions; and when he wanted to teach them some of the rules of etiquette, he addressed them with a soft style. He used different speaking styles when he addressed them: a playful style, a heartfelt style, gratifying, promising and encouraging styles, metaphorical, stimulating and thought-provoking styles, etc. He never spoke in an offending, despising, insulting or excessive style.
When he spoke to a person, he gave him full attention and showed love to the worst person of the nation so that the person may feel special. He generously distributed his cheerfulness and good character to every person and fulfilled the rights of each one of them equally. He exercised patience even when he was asked harsh and indecent questions. He spoke kindly without being harsh towards anyone. He was also cautious not to embarrass anyone.
Allah loves kindness and gentleness in all matters, so we should manifest these qualities even when we face abuse and cruelty. On one occasion, Rasulullah (Sallallahu ‘alaihi Wasallam) was insulted and cursed by his enemies but he did not return their curses. Rather, he showed patience and forbearance and encouraged his companions to be kind.
Aisha (RadhiAllahu ‘anha) reported: A group of Jews asked permission to visit Nabi Muhammad (Sallallahu ‘alaihi Wasallam) and when they were admitted they said, “Death be upon you.” I said to them, “Rather death and the curse of Allah be upon you!” Nabi (Sallallahu ‘alaihi Wasallam) said: “O Aisha, Allah is kind and He loves kindness in all matters.” [Sahih Bukhari].
A wise and astute person is the one who always uses gentle language when speaking to people from all walks of life, including his arch enemies. We have no use of unpleasant and spiteful words and a harsh tone so we should get rid of all these vices from our nature.
May Allah grant us the understanding of how to use our tongue in the right manner…aameen.
…and Allah Ta’ala knows best.
By: M. B. Ahmed