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Keeping that spark alive

By Naadira Chhipa
He groomed his beard and wore his best blue shirt,he sprayed on the most expensive fragrance he owned before rushing to the florist to buy her a bouquet of red roses. They are engaged to be married and he is dressed to impress her.Fast forward a year into their marriage and the same guy is now lazying on the couch in his shorts with a pot belly,untidy beard and will not move away from the television not even to shower.He only remembers his wife when he is hungry and shouts for her to bring his food to him as he is too tired to get off the couch.Their honeymoon is over.

She was always a romantic at heart yet her first date was with her husband after their Nikkah.She always dreamt of holding his hands as they walked along the shore and rose petalled candle lit dinners at home. He made her every dream a beautiful reality.Fast forward two years into the marriage and they are blessed with a beautiful baby girl,the same couple can barely communicate with each other. The baby takes up almost all of her time and this makes her husband feel neglected and alone hence he finds company in his friends. He is away from the house most of the time as he feels unwanted. She feels lonely, depressed and stressed as the demands of a newborn pile up she pushes him away emotionally as well as physically. Their honeymoon is over.

She looks out the window waiting for her husband to come home from work. She picked out an elegant dress, adorned herself with make up, jewelry and her finest fragrance.Her intention is to grab her husbands attention as soon as he is home. She always liked to keep the spark alive. He is so pleased to be met by his beautiful wife at the door as he greets her with a smile and a hug.Fast forward 3 years into their marriage and the same woman is busy cutting onions in the kitchen dressed in her usual kaftan oblivious of the fact that her husband came home and walked passed her without even acknowledging her presence. Their honeymoon is over.

There are various ways in which we can keep the spark alive in our marriage without having to neglect the various other responsibilities we have.Let us never take our spouse or marriage for granted.We need to always try to attract our spouse. It is extremely important to spend quality time with your spouse to nurture your relationship, to appreciate each other, to hold hands, to talk about life and love, to rekindle the spark, to flirt and have fun and to fall in love with each other over and over again. We can make a thousand excuses for not having the time or energy to invest in our spouse but remember grooming, attracting, being intimate and loving your spouse is also an ibaadah.

Do not take simple gestures of love for granted. Give him a hug, write her that love note,give her a goodnight kiss everynight,compliment him,open the car door for her and take 5min to look each other in the eyes and say I love you.

May your honeymoon last a lifetime, keep that spark alive.

May Allah bless our marriages with happiness, fulfilment and love always.

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