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Silent Tragedy – Parent / Child Relationship




“I know that many would choose not to hear what I say in the article, but your children need you to hear this message. Even if you disagree with my perspective, please, just follow the recommendations at the end of the article. Once you see the positive changes in your child’s life, you will understand why I say what I say!” ~V.P.


Victoria Prooday is an outspoken advocate of children and hands-on parenting. I share her post with her permission because we want your children (and you) to thrive.


There is a silent tragedy developing right now, in our homes, with our children. Through my work with hundreds of children and families as an occupational therapist, I have witnessed this tragedy unfolding right in front of my eyes.


Talk to teachers and professionals who have been working in the field for the last 15 years. You will hear concerns on kids’ mental health similar to mine. Moreover, in the past 15 years, researchers have been releasing alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in kids’ mental illness, which is now reaching epidemic proportions:


1 in 5 children has mental health problems

43% increase in ADHD

37% increase in teen depression

200% increase in suicide rate in kids 10-14 years old




No, “increased diagnostics alone” is not the answer!


No, “they all are just born like this” is not the answer!


No, “it is all the school system’s fault” is not the answer!


Yes, as painful as it can be to admit, in many (not all) cases, WE, parents, are the answer to many of our kids’ struggles.


It is scientifically proven that the brain has the capacity to rewire itself through the environment. Unfortunately, with the environment and parenting styles that we are providing to our children, we are rewiring their brains in the wrong direction and contributing to their challenges in everyday life.


Yes, there are and always have been children who are born with disabilities and despite their parents’ best efforts to provide them with a well-balanced environment and parenting, their children continue to struggle. These are NOT the children I am talking about here.


I am talking about many others whose challenges are greatly shaped by the environmental factors that parents, with their greatest intentions, provide to their children. As I have seen in my practice, the moment parents change their perspective on parenting, many of these children change.




Today’s children are being deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:


Emotionally available parents

Clearly defined limits and guidance


Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep

Movement and outdoors

Creative play, social interaction, opportunities for unstructured times and boredom


Instead, children are being raised by:


Digitally distracted parents

Indulgent parents who let kids “rule the world”

Sense of entitlement rather than responsibility

Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition

Sedentary indoor lifestyle

Endless stimulation, technological babysitters,

instant gratification,

and absence of dull moments


Could anyone imagine that it is possible to raise a healthy generation in such an unhealthy environment? Of course not! There are no shortcuts to parenting, and we can’t trick human nature. As we see, the outcomes are devastating. Our children pay for the loss of well-balanced childhood with their emotional well-being.




If we want our children to grow into happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and go back to the basics. It is still possible! I know this because hundreds of my clients see positive changes in their kids’ emotional state within weeks (and in some cases, even days) of implementing these recommendations:


Set limits and remember that you are your child’s PARENT at this time, not a friend.


Offer kids well-balanced lifestyle filled with what kids NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “No!” to your kids if what they want is not what they need.


Provide nutritious food and limits snacks.


Avoid toxic foods.


Spend one hour a day in green space: biking, hiking, fishing, watching birds/insects.


Have a daily technology-free family dinner.


Play one board game a day. (List of family games) Allow for unstructured play.


Involve your child in one or more chores a day (folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table etc).


Implement consistent sleep routine to ensure that your child gets lots of sleep in a technology-free bedroom.


Teach responsibility and independence. Don’t over-protect them from small failures. It trains them the skills needed to overcome greater life’s challenges.


Don’t pack your child’s backpack, don’t carry her backpack, don’t bring to school his forgotten lunch box/agenda, and don’t peel a banana for a 5-year-old child. Teach them the skills rather than do it for them.


Teach delayed gratification and provide opportunities for “boredom” as boredom is the time when creativity awakens:


Don’t feel responsible for being your child’s entertainment crew.


Do not use technology as a cure for boredom.Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, malls. Use these moments as opportunities to train their brains to function under “boredom”.


Help them create a “boredom first aid kit” with activity ideas for “I am bored” times.


Be emotionally available to connect with kids and teach them self-regulation and social skills:


Turn off your phones until kids are in bed to avoid digital distraction.


Become your child’s emotional coach.


Teach them to recognize and deal with frustration and anger.


Teach greeting, taking turns, sharing, empathy, table manners, conversation skills,


Connect emotionally – Smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, or crawl with your child.

Most Importantly as Muslims we need to emphasise Quran, 5 daily Salaah and Islamic Knowledge/ Education on our children. Stories of Nabi ṣallallāhu 'alayhi wa sallam (peace and blessings of Allāh be upon him) and Sahabah raḍyAllāhu 'anhum (may Allāh be pleased with them) need to be read to our children and impressed upon them daily.

We must make changes in our kids’ lives before this entire generation of children will be medicated! It is not too late yet, but soon it will be…

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