“Oh No, Only 20 minutes left to pick up the kids from madrasah. Oh Gosh! Tomorrow is another crazy Saturday morning with them at home”, groaned mum.
Friday 16:40 (after madrasah):
“Yesss, it’s weekend again. Tomorrow we can hook up with the gang at the mall. Maybe, we can catch a good movie,” thought the kids gleefully.
“Stop that, I’m busy on the phone. Can’t you do something to occupy yourself! Enough nagging”, yells mum amid the chaos and clutter.
Mums nerves are frazzled by the constant questions and the irritating chatter of the enquiring minds of the kids. By 10:00, she’s ‘driven up the wall’. So she leaves the crisis zone and jets off with the ‘baggage’ to the mall, appeasing each child with R 200.00 and freedom till 13:00 in order to ‘buy’ some time-out with her friends over coffee. Bursting with excitement, the kids tap away on their phones to get the co-ordinates of their friends.
At 12:30, mum’s iPhone beeped. It’s a broadcast message about a report-back on Syria, by an ‘Aalim, at the local girls madrasah at 15:00.
That afternoon, mum diligently listened to the Moulana as he recounted his first-hand experiences of the merciless butchering of our youth and innocent children in Syria. She could not help but shed tears at their pitiable plight.
At that very moment, mum felt a pang in her heart. She regretted not giving her time to her children.
While the loss of the youth of Syria to the blood thirsty regime of their country is extremely heart-rending, the loss of our youth to the scourge of the “Satanic Cults”, to the night clubs and cinemas, to the drug lords of our neighbourhood and to the pandemic of lewd and illicit behaviour is equally, if not, more tragic.
If we ever want to peek into our future, then glance at the morals and values of our youth. The building blocks of our future are being moulded by ourhands… in our presence.
N – Nurturing
E – Education
E – Example
D – Du‘aa
N = Nurturing:
Our children are our future. The moral, social, religious and spiritual values that we imbue in them now will play out in their lives tomorrow. Firstly, we need to condition our minds that their success as human beings depends on deen. It does not depend on making them into ‘money-making-machines’.
Deep-rooted concern for the deen of one’s child/ren is a salient quality of the true servants of Allah Ta‘ala. This is aptly highlighted in Surah Furqaan (v74), via the following supplication:
“O our Rabb, make our spouses and offspring the coolness of our eyes (by making them obedient to us) and make us leaders (and examples) to those who fear You.”
It is thus quite clear that, we should galvanise all our effort and channel them into instilling sound Islamic values in the nurturing of our beautiful off-spring.
The ball is in our court.
Invest in them and secure your sadaqah jaariyah, or neglect them, only to cry later on:
“Oh Beta, why are you casting me in an old age home?”
“Oh my Muhammad, leave your business for a little while, and visit your mummy at least once a week.”
“Oh my dear Faatimah, remember that your mother comes before your friends and all your other commitments!”
E = Education:
This is our responsibility and not that of the madrasah teacher. They only do us a favour by easing our load and supplement the task of the parents.
‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbaas (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma) has reported his personal experience with Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) at a very tender age. He says:
“One day I was seated behind Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) on a conveyance, when he said to me: ‘O young lad! Let me teach you a few lessons:
· Protect Allah Ta‘ala’s deen and He will protect you.
· Remain within the limitations set down by Allah Ta‘ala and you will find Him (His mercy and help) before you.
· When you beg, beg of Allah Ta‘ala.
· When you seek assistance, seek it from Allah Ta‘ala.
· Know very well that if the entire world gathers to benefit you, they will not be able to render more benefit than that which Allah Ta‘ala has predestined for you, and if they gather to harm you, they will not be able to cause more harm than that which Allah Ta‘ala has predestined against you.
· The pen (of destiny) has been lifted and the scrolls have dried up.’” (Sunan Tirmizi #2516)
A reckless and foolish chant that we often hear is: “He’s still small.”
Ah, but in the above hadeeth, Rasulullah (sallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam) teaches the basic articles of imaan to ‘Abdullah bin ‘Abbaas (radhiyallahu ‘anhuma), who was still a child!
We could make a start with the following simple method:
– Sit together as one family unit and dedicate a few minutes for the recitation of the Quraan Majeed, ta’leem of Fazaaile Aa’maal and some collective du‘aa.
– Narrate to them the stories of the Ambiyaa (‘alaihimus salaam), Sahaabah (radhiyallahu ‘anhum), the pious and other beneficial incidents. Children love stories. These incidents will (insha-Allah) mould them and give them a direction in life.
– Teach them the etiquettes and du‘aas of eating, drinking, going to the toilet, dressing, sleeping, greeting, travelling, etc.
E = Example:
Our children are our CCTV’s (Child’s Careful and Thoughtful Vision). They absorb our every move and replay it when faced with similar situations.Therefore, we need to walk the talk, and they will follow suit. This is the easiest method to teach our children. The famous adage goes: “An apple does not fall far from the tree.”
Dear parents, let us take heed and lead by deed.
D = Du‘aa:
Supplicating to Allah Ta‘ala for the children’s earthly and spiritual success was the hallmark of our pious predecessors.
Ebrahim (‘alaihis salaam) implored Allah Ta‘ala:
“O Allah, I have settled my progeny in a barren land (Makkah Mukarramah) by Your sacred house, so that they may establish salaah. So make the hearts of the people yearn towards them and provide them with fruits, so that they may be grateful… O Allah, grant me and my offspring the ability to be punctual with salaah.” (Surah Ebrahim v37 & 40)
The Master of Hadeeth, Imaam Bukhaari (rahimahullah), lost his eyesight during his early infancy. His mother, who was a very pious woman, was deeply grieved. She cried and begged Allah Ta‘ala to restore her child’s sight. After a period of intense crying and pleading, she saw Nabi Ebrahim (‘alaihis salaam) in a dream giving her the glad tidings of her son’s sight being restored. On awakening she found his eyesight was restored. (Hadyus Saari pg. 662)
This ‘super-woman’ did not lose hope despite her son turning blind. Likewise, we cannot afford to give up on our children. While they may be drowning in sin and evil, due to being spiritually blind, we need to continue trying and crying. That day will soon dawn when Allah Ta‘ala restores their spiritual eyesight by virtue of our du‘aas, just as He had restored the physical eyesight of Imaam Bukhaari (rahimahullah) through the blessings of his mother’s du‘aas.
Dedicate time daily to cry for them, before they make you cry.
Stand up to the “NEED” and Allah Ta‘ala will infuse the “DEEN.”
Reverse the word “NEED”, and that is their real need (i.e. DEEN).
Correspondence of Hazrat Moulana Yunus Patel Saheb (rahimahullah)
As Salaamu ‘alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh
Can you please give me a wazeefah for my children? My daughter is five years old and my son is two years old. I am worried about their behaviour, especially my daughter, who has become rebellious and a bit hyper and is not doing well at school and madrasah so far.
Please give me a wazeefah that I can read on a daily basis so she becomes well-mannered and improves in her madrasah and school.
Bismillahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Wa ‘alaikumus Salaam wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh
1. Your request and the problem you are experiencing are very common. My first question to parents who complain about the misbehaviour of their children is: Do you have a television? Are the children viewing television programmes?
Most often, the answer is “yes.”
If, in your case, the answer is yes, then you need to understand that television viewing is one of the root causes and primary reasons for children being badly behaved and rebellious, as well as not being able to fare well in madrasah and school.
The major content of television programmes is haraam and leads to children enacting what they see on television. It is through the television that they learn bad attitude, bad speech, disrespect and aggressive interaction with others.
Moreover, television viewing affects the child’s ability to comprehend and retain what is being taught. It is known to many, and research also proves, that television viewing leads to poor academic performance and poor health in the long term. Most parents complain of the poor memory of their young children. Yet, a child’s ability to learn is amazing. What now hinders their progress is television, video-games and the fast-paced visual stimulation.
The solution is to get rid of the television first.
Alhamdulillah, those who follow the advice come back with very positive results.
2. If television is not the cause, then read the following every morning and evening: 3 x durood shareef, 3 x Aayatul Kursi, 3 x Surah Ikhlaas, Surah Falaq and Surah Naas, 11 x La hawla wala quwwata illah billah and 3 x durood shareef. Blow over them. Blow on water and give them to drink.
3. For improvement of memory, read: 3 x durood shareef, 111 x Ya Qawiyyu, 111 x Ya ‘Aleemu, 3 x durood shareef. Blow on water and give her to drink.
4. The following article is a discussion on the harms of television, which I recommend parents to read http://yunuspatel.co.za/articles-influence-television.php
5. May Allah Ta‘ala make your children the coolness of your eyes, pious and righteous and a great sadaqah jaariyah for you.
Was Salaamu ‘alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuh
Yunus Patel (Maulana)