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The Breakdown of marriages

By Naadira Chhipa
She was born into a wealthy family.Her father was a renowned businessman and owned properties across the country.It was in her first year of university that she met him,a humble hafiz who was studying towards becoming an accountant.He was born into a middle class home and did odd jobs just to pay for his transport to university.They fell in love and although her parents did not approve of his background being middle class they were eventually married and she accepted to live a simple life as he was still a student.After a month of living in the beachfront apartment her father gifted them she was in tears.He was studying and working at the same time as he needed the money to manage their home and to also assist his parents yet she hated that he had to work long hours at the local supermarket leaving her home alone.She longed to go shopping with the credit card her daddy always paid for although her husband warned her not to use her fathers money as he wanted to provide for her yet he could never afford her lavish lifestyle.They fought everyday over finances and how she regretted marrying a working class man yet he was extremely patient with her until she decided to ask her father for money to go on a holiday to London.This infuriated her husband as he was working so hard only to hear from his father in law that he will never be worthy or wealthy enough.This lead to them getting separated and ultimately divorced.

They were high school sweethearts and dated for years before deciding to have a stunning wedding.It took them 3years just to save for the wedding of their dreams.After just one year of being married she realized she did not truly know him at all despite years of dating.He quit his job and stayed home all day playing fifa and making a mess of their home and lives.She worked long hours in order to pay the rent and buy groceries.One evening after a huge fight about him getting a job he left in a fit of rage only to come back home at 2am high on a cocktail of pills he popped and she would have never known of his drug habit had he not tried to force himself on her which terrified her so much that she ran to her neighbours house for help and for protection from her own husband.They were soon divorced.

They always seemed to be the happiest of couples.Married for over five years and shared a beautiful bond.They were ecstatic at the news of her pregnancy and soon they became proud parents of a little baby girl.Motherhood consumed all of her time and energy he began to distance himself from her.All their efforts went into taking care of the baby that they lost each other in the process.She suffered from severe post natal depression which strained their marriage and resulted in daily arguments and misery.She soon moved in with her parents as she needed her mum to assist her with the baby and he was left alone in their house.They grew apart as the days turns into month’s and after a year of living separately he decided he no longer knew his wife and did not love her anymore.They mutually decided to go for marriage counselling and work hard on their marriage not just for their child but for themselves.

It is 10pm and after a long day at work and at home,battling to get the kids to sleep they finally get into bed.She picks up her phone and is busy updating social media while he plays games or watches YouTube videos late into the night.They do not talk to each other neither do they hug or kiss as the intimacy and love in their relationship has been replaced by technology.Soon he discovers she has been having an online affair with a wealthy businessman for over a year yet he could never question her as he was indulging his nafs everynight by watching porn.They lived like strangers in their own home,in an artificial marriage.

Marriage is a sacred union of two bodies,two minds,two hearts and two souls as they merge and become one Allah showers them with infinite love and mercy.We claim undying love before marriage and have unreal expectations of what we imagine married life to be yet we need to understand that marriage is no fairytale.Instead of always trying to find fault,complaining and escaping try to introspect,highlight and mend your own insecurities,fears and issues as only then can you truly say you are working hard at maintaining your marriage.Everyday you will face challenges as shaytaan loves to ruin a blessed home so be strong and remember Allah knows exactly what is troubling your heart and mind.Abuse should never be tolerated even if it is at the hands of your own husband or wife.

Marriage is beautiful,it provides the soul with peace and contentment.Marriage saves us from zinah and completes half of your Imaan that is the lofty status of this wonderful union.Allah blessed us with spouses who are our garments and companions to respect,honour,love,appreciate and cherish in this world so we can join them again in eternal bliss,Jannah.

So today my sisters and brothers in Islam I urge you to make that effort in your marraige.Ask your wife if she needs assistance in the kitchen,give your husband that back massage,welcome him home with a smile,ask her for forgiveness,say I love you and take the time to swtich Your phone off and switch your marraige on.

May Allah bless our marriages with the best of understanding and love and beautify our souls with the ability to be a source of happiness and peace to our spouse.Ameen.

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